Congress Votes To Keep Lobbyists Tube 
Inserted Into Tom Delay
's Coffers

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   Congress voted in an emergency weekend session to reinsert a vacuum tube that feeds campaign contributions from lobbyists directly into the coffers of House Majority Leader Tom Delay.

    A judge recently ruled that the tube be removed pending an investigation into potential ethics violations of Delay. After extraordinary efforts by Delay’s congressional colleagues, members of congress convened on Capitol Hill on Palm Sunday to pass the legislation demanding the reinsertion of the tube.

    President Bush cut short an accident prone mountain bike excursion at his Texas ranch to fly back to Washington to sign the bill. Pending action by a federal judge, who owes his appointment to Bush, the tube should be fully functional before the Majority Leader suffers any serious loss of contributions. Delay has termed this money the “critical life blood to my defense fund.”